Someone very close to my family is currently suffering from dementia. It’s heartbreaking on a lot of levels. When I closed this book I had to hold in my sobs. Sometimes when you’re caring for someone suffering from a terminal illness you focus on your own suffering, sometimes it’s hard to see beyond the ways in which you’re hurting. But in the end it’s not really about you. It is in some ways, after all you are grieving for a loss. A loss of a life well lived. Of a grandparent you thought would be around longer to see your kid grow up. An aunt that you thought would tell you all the stories you missed about your father passed too soon. A mom you thought would always be as sharp as a knife, sitting and laughing with you on the porch outside. And yes. It is awful. But what The Swimmers accomplished for me, is it allowed me to crawl inside the mind of this person I love so much. My capacity for empathy grew and my anger subsided. I was able to make room in my heart and stop being so angry at the unfairness of it all. Bc I need to enjoy the little moments I have left. Bc one day. They’ll be gone.

[ID:The book The Swimmers rest on a porch beam outside.]

#TheSwimmers #LiteraryFiction #GreatBooks #Fiction #bookstsgram #Bookstagrammer #ReadMoreBooks #AlwaysReading #juliaotsuka

Local library had the goods. Getting ready for @thesealeychallenge . Stay With Me snuck in there as well. I couldn’t help it. Also had to rep one of the coolest local indie bookstores @lastbookstorela . I’m excited for August. Thanks for all the recommendationseveryone! #supportlocallibraries #libraries #librariesrock #poetry #poems #bagsandbooks #totebag #bookstagram #bookstagrammer

Wow. I asked for poetry recommendations and y’all delivered. Here is a complete list of the recommendations I received. Please feel free to DM more or add more in the comments. I am so excited to get started and so many of you gave great advice and also commiserated with me about being intimidated by poetry. It meant a lot! The poets or collection with an asterisk by them means it was recommended more than once. Because I’m a tech dummy I can’t figure out how to reformat the google doc pics and make a multiple list so I’m gonna put in my stories and make a highlight.

[ID: Pictures of the covered of the poetry collections Peluda, Black Girl Call Home, Homie, Catalogue of Unabashed Gratitude, Mary Oliver’s Devotions, Counting Descent, Obit, A Fortune for Your Disaster, Hermosa, and Bless the Daughter Raise By the Voice in Her Head laid over a forest background]

#Poetry #TheSealeyChallenge #Poets #PoetryCollections #ReadMorePoetry #Poems

Just By Looking At Him by Ryan O’Connell was a great summer read for me. I found it really entertaining, but can see why maybe this isn’t for everyone. It comes as no surprise how spot on he is about living in LA and especially working in the entertainment industry that calls this place home. I definitely laughed out loud at certain points as he described this confounding place that swallows you whole and spits you out if you’re not ready. Back in my going out days I remember talking to aspiring actors or writers and always looking at them with this “oh. You poor thing” look. Which sure is probably condescending, but honestly I was just worried about them because that industry takes no prisoners and it is like the abusive lover your best friend keeps going back to and all you can do is stand there and watch. Hollywood for all its glitz, has a seedy underbelly they love to ignore.

Beyond that I thought this was a really good relationship story, and his examination of his relationship was poignant and spot on. I felt called out because as a non-disabled person I definitely need to do better about considering disabled people in my advocacy and especially my job. This book was at its strongest when he was examining those power dynamics in a relationship as a disabled person and his reflections on learning to love himself, by himself. I think it spoke volumes to how we approach our relationships and why even if things are going “well,” it’s a sign of things unsaid or untouched.

Be warned though that this book is RAUNCHY, and it definitely made me blush, hehe. But it was funny and I really think a lot of my LA peeps, especially those that work or have worked in “the industry,” will probably enjoy this one. My favorite quote about my beloved city, “He lived ten minutes away, so we had to take seven freeways to get there.” IYKYK.

[ID: The novel Just By Looking At Him rests at an angle, laying flat by a pool]

#JustByLookingAtHim #PoolSideReading #Bookstagram #DisabledAuthors #QueerAuthors #GayBooks #ReadMoreBooks #LosAngelesBooks #HollywoodBooks #FunnyBooks #Novels #fiction

Hmmm. My thoughts on this one are sort of all over the place but shout out to @ricetwicethrice for helping me sparse this one out. Let’s start with things I appreciated. I remember when this tragedy took place. I remember the media blaming Marlyn Manson and goths. I also remember the guns and how the media said the two boys were horrifically bullied. All of those things were untrue. The fact that this was supposed to be a bombing and not a shoot out was something I never knew. I appreciated the way Cullen dismantled many of the false media narratives that were presented to us at first glance. But what is more enraging is that NOTHING HAS CHANGED. So when I was reading this I was honestly kind of sick to my stomach and just wanted to be done with it.

There are two things here I want to critique. First thing was the overall structure of the book. It does not take place in chronological order and the chapters alternate between the victims and the murders. This was at times confusing bc the timelines didn’t really match up. I thought it also made the flow of the book a bit choppy. And the other thing that sort of rubs me the wrong way is Cullen’s characterization of Eric Harris as a psychopath. Like. Okay. Yes. Maybe. But also there is just so much information about him missing. There was no examination of his white supremacists beliefs. While Dylan Klebolds parents were more forthcoming about their son, Harris’s parents have remained tight lipped. I just feel like there’s this hole in his narrative. But maybe not. Maybe I just need more of a reason for why he chose to do what he did, but then why do I need that? At the end of the day 15 kids were murdered with 24 injured. Why do I care about why? What I care about is why is it so easy to still buy a gun? Why are the shooters mostly young white boys? Why has it been over two decades with no change in policy? Why does the media still get things so horribly wrong? Why do we continue to allow this to happen? This was written in 2009. we’ve got nothing to show for it. I can’t say I’m glad I read this. Maybe younger people who weren’t alive then will glean something here. But maybe not bc they already know.

Come on a hike with me! This is an old growth forest in the Black Mountain. Magical creatures probably live here. #summerhike #hike #nonbookishpost #nonbookishcontent #bookstagram #nature #forests #southoffrance #teacheronsummerbreak